Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them

I sent a quick email and my resume to Planned Parenthood. Maybe they need volunteers to help around the office? I'd much rather do that than work at McDonald's or Wal-Mart (or at the McDonald's inside the Wal-Mart), despite the fact that it pays more than $0/hr.

I think maybe I want to get my B.Ed. and teach media studies to dead-eyed high schoolers. They'll hate me because I'll make them read Chomsky but love me because I let them watch The Simpsons in class. A lot. Or better yet, become a guidance counselor and get myself promptly fired for saying things like "The only thing about high school that matters is getting out" and "They're lying to you when they say that marijuana is a highly addictive Gateway Drug".

Good News... For Real This Time

Regular viewers of Destitute is the New Black! may remember the closure of the RMH call centre in Oromocto at the end of last month. Some 700 people were thrown out of work, in some cases whole families found themselves with no means of support (other than the traditional alternative).

Today, a Big Government Announcement brought word that a new centre will be opening at the former RMH site. The centre will hire its first staff this week and within a year, 600 jobs will be created. Which is awesome news for most of the laid off RMH telemarketers, not to mention the town of Oromocto. It's good news for me, too... not because I want to work at a fucking call centre, but because that makes the competition for shitty minimum wage mall jobs far less stiff. Hooray for corporate welfare!

Cross-posted at Sick, Sad World.

Zombie Call Centre?

Rumour has it that there will be a Big Government Announcement tomorrow proclaiming that a new call centre is opening in Oromocto... presumably at the former RMH site. No word, however, on how many "new" jobs this will actually mean for the community. Please note that because CTV.ca can't be bothered to include local news stories on its website, I can't give you a link to this story despite the fact that I just saw it on television.

In other news, I'm fucking sick so I haven't been doing any actual job hunting this week.

'Cause I Got Kat Class and I Got Kat Style

There's a new coffee shop open downtown called Alley Katz Cafe with a nondescript "Help Wanted" sign in the window. It's in the Storefront Space of Death underneath the Taproom and next to the Crapital... there's a new restaurant or cafe in there every 6 months it seems. A few years ago there was an awesome Mexican take-out place there called Margaritas, but it didn't last long. Personally I think it's because they closed too early to catch the hungry post-Sweetwaters and Rockin' Rodeo crowd that Samba Brazil relies on. Anyway, they had the best guacamole and homemade corn chips EVER.

I think I'll go check out this Alley Katz place tomorrow morning. Perhaps they, unlike Starbucks and Second Cup, will be impressed with my previous coffee-slinging experience.

Showing Ads: none

You know your city's economy is fucked when the local paper has no "Employment Opportunities" ads at all.

Pink Slips A-Plenty!

Nackawick, New Brunswick is a small town about 65km west of where I live. It's home to the world's largest axe. Seriously, you can't make that kind of stuff up:



However, as of yesterday, Nackawick is also home to 400 laid off pulp mill workers. Another way to put it is to say that nearly half the town's population is now out of work. And they're understandably pissed.

So pissed, in fact, that as I type this the workers are illegally occupying the plant and ain't goin' nowhere until they get answers from the owners (New York-based Parsons & Whittemore, a company who posted revenues of over a billion dollars US in 2002) as to why the mill was closed without warning. And good on them, I say. Cue Rage Against the Machine's "Take the Power Back"...

Cross-posted at Sick, Sad World.

From ADI Group Inc.

RE: EMPLOYMENT APPLICATION

This letter is to acknowledge your recent application for employment. We thank you for your interest in working with ADI.

We will keep your application in our open file for the next six months. When openings occur, it is our policy to review the files and contact qualified applicants.

Good fortune to you in your search.

Yours truly,

Sharon A. Wilson, R.P.R.
Personnel Services

Really? Cos I thought they'd only contact unqualified applicants.

I'm going postal!

Sweet merciful crap, I want this job! Sure it's shitty call centre work, but it pays $18.75/hr... this would enable me to feed myself while working only 20hrs a week, still go to school, and minimize the amount of student debt I will incur this year. I would really only need my line of credit for tuition and books, my living expenses could be covered by my wages alone. Sweet!

Just to clarify...

School is go. Not surprisingly, the courses I want are full, to that means I have to go to class tomorrow and grovel in order to be allowed in. Hopefully that will work, as my tentative schedule is such that I don't have class at all on Tuesday and Thursday, so I will continue looking for a part-time job. Also my former thesis advisor has offered to do an independent study with me, which basically means meeting with her once a week, reading whatever I want, and writing agreed-upon papers. Sweeeet.

As for job hunting, I'm really not sure where else I can apply. My former advisor said she would make some phone calls to her contacts in government and various not-for-profit groups to see about finding me some clerical work, but I'm not sure what else to do if that doesn't work out. There's a couple more coffee shops downtown that I could apply to... Coffee & Company and Reid's News Stand, respectively. Reid's fucking rules, I love that place. They consistently carry magazines like Broken Pencil and Bust, along with a small number of zines and indie comix. Rock! I may also apply at The Body Shop up in the mall, but mainly so I can get the employee discount.

And I suppose I can always check out jobs with the university... *shudder*

Come see what your future has in store!

My results from the Future Shop online interview:

Thank you for your interest in getting MORE out of your career with Future Shop! Unfortunately, you do not meet the minimum requirements for this particular position. Your application will be active for 30 days, so there is no need to reapply during this period. Thank you again for considering Future Shop and we wish you all the best in your career endeavours.

Fuck, I knew I should have answered 'yes' when it asked if I would turn in a family member who was stealing from the company.

Nuts to finding a job. I'm going back to school.

"School's back in session...

...let's begin our lesson..."

So it looks like I may be going back to school full-time as a solution to my unemployment problem. I had been planning on going back in January anyway just to finally finish my degree, but seeing as how desparate I'm getting, this is "a good a plan as any." Which were my father's exact words. Heck, I'm already $45,000 in debt, what's another $9,000?

This is oddly appropriate, considering that the principle reason I went to university in the first place was to put off finding a real job for a few years... or "hiding from life" as I called it at the time.

I haven't decided for 100% sure yet, so more later I suppose.

Flupid bloroplope!

More reckless optimism from Yahoo! Astrology:

[Excerpt from] Monthly Career for September, 2004:

After the 6th, though, it feels like now or never. As long as the job gets done and the customer goes away satisfied, your methods stand up to administrative scrutiny through the 13th. That's when you land your dream job, get accepted to the organization or program that will open doors for you, or benefit from your boss' changing circumstances... You find cooperation at all levels. Old allies come through. Associates offer favors from out of the blue.

[Excerpt from] Weekly Forecast for September 6, 2004:

You'll be getting what you want in other areas of your life... this week -- especially on Thursday and Friday. A really great conversation toward the end of the week is going to lead you to start really thinking about your career in new and even more exciting ways.

This is all driving me fucking insane.

I emailed one of my references to see if the Second Cup has tried calling her. I'm wondering if I shouldn't have expressed reservations about working alone at night during the interview? Its potentially scary, goddamn it... if people wigged out on Oxycontin will rob Tim Horton's, then why not Second Cup? Maybe it's because the References sheet I gave her was an old one that still had "B.A." after my name from back when I thought I was still graduating this summer? More recent resumes don't have those letters after my name. Does she think I'm a filthy, filthy liar? I can't take much more of this.

It's eeriliy like when you're in a new relationship and you're waiting for the person to call you, so you sit around over-analyizing everything that they said to you. Perhaps I should begin reading my "Romance" horoscopes as well. Oh fuck.

Hey Buddy...

It seems that the Province of New Brunswick can, indeed, spare a dime. You see, the minimum wage in NB will be increasing from $6.20 to $6.30 on January 1, 2005. Kick ass, now I can buy that newspaper I've been saving for. Or I could... if I had a job at all.

Decisions... decisions....

By 11:00 this morning it was becoming apparent that I had developed the stress-managment skills of a hamster, so I caved-in and called Second Cup rather than continuing to wait in agony for them to call me. Plus I find it's usually good to look like an eager beaver. Whatever....

So, long story short, I couldn't really get a straight answer out of this woman and I'm beginning to suspect that my chances of actually landing this job that I don't want so much as need, are not good. She said that of the two openings, one has been filled and she's still inteviewing for the other one. No decision had been made just yet, and then she said, "Thanks for calling". Not, "I'll let you know", or, "I'll talkt to you later in the week", but just "Thanks for calling". Surely, if I had even an outside chance of getting the apparently much coveted barista job, she would have said something which would lead me to believe that I would be hearing from her at a later date?

I don't know what to do next. I suppose if I don't hear from her, I should try calling again on Friday?

You have no idea how much I don't want to be an "Extreme Team Player" at The Extreme Pita... it's significantly more than the degree to which I don't want to be a barista at the Second Cup, let's put it that way.

Daily Overview for September 7

Here's my horoscope for tomorrow courtesy Yahoo! Astrology:

Don't even bother to screen your calls. This is one call you won't want to miss. It may also be the one you've been waiting for. Now, make some coffee, and prepare to chat up a storm.

Sorta sounds like I'm getting a coffee-slinging job, huh? And I do often screen my calls, especially if I think it might be job-related. Oh well. Here's hoping the tips are as good as I've been lead to believe.

< /hubris >

So Very Tired

Nothing new to report except that I am still hungover and it is almost 3:30. I called the Second Cup today to see if I got a job or not, but I was told that the manager wouldn't be in again until Tuesday, so I'll have to wait until after the long weekend to find out what the story is.

As I've said before, long weekends suck ass when you're unemployed.

Confidence of Steel

I got to the interview this morning about 10 or 15 minutes early, so I had to wait around in the cafe a bit for the manager. While I was waiting, one of my fellow stooges from the Chapters interview a few weeks back showed up. I remembered her because of the four of us, it was clear that her bullshit was the most fluent. I also remembered that she said during the interview that she used to work at the Second Cup, and talked at length about how much she adored working there. It was truly sickening; nobody who isn't mentally ill likes the service industry that much. Anyway, so she said something to one of the guys behind the counter, and he told her to have a seat. She turned and saw me, and I looked her in the face and gave her The Nod of Recognition. She looked at me, but just walked on and didn't acknowledge me in any way. I have seriously never seen anyone look more terrified in my life, it was really quite something. Presumably she was there for an interview, too? "Why would they schedule two at the same time?", I wondered. Then it hit me: it's time for Group Interview, part 2. I decided that if that's what was happening, I was going to walk out. I don't want this (or any) job badly enough to go through that again. Fuck. That.

Eventually the manager appeared. One of her staff pointed to me and said "She was here first", and she looked at me and mouthed the words "just a second", and went over to talk to bullshit girl. Evidently, she was just there to drop off a resume. Ha.

So annnnywaaay, the interview went well, I think. Another really relaxed, non-personality test type of interview, not unlike the ill-fated Starbucks interview from last week. Sadly this manager wasn't nearly as hot as the other one, but she seemed pretty nice just the same. She mostly just told me about the job in terms of shifts and what not and asked, "Would that be a problem for you?" a lot. The only thing I was kind of concerned about was working alone at night, even though the cafe is only open until 10:00pm. I just told her that after I'd been there for a while and had a sense of the customers, I would probably feel better about it. She also said that there's a great deal of "coffee training" involved. I'm having these nightmarish visions of sitting alone in a small room and being forced to watch corporate propaganda films. It wouldn't be the first time.

When I got hired at L.A. Express/Suzy Shier, they gave me this employee handbook that included tons of information about the history of the company and then afterwards made me write a test about it. They also made me watch a video about how to spot shoplifters and made me write a test based on that too. I always meant to compile a zine based on propaganda from various corporations, as it seems most of them try very hard to indoctrinate the new staff.

Fuck job interviews.

The woman from The Second Cup just called to say that she's running late, and could I come at 11:40 instead. Okay.

I really hope that this is my last job interview for a really long time, and not just because I'm broke as a joke. Job interviews are fucking lame and I'm sick of them. I've had three in the last coupe of weeks and I'm so tired of having to get dressed up and trying to impress people who I don't give a shit about impressing, other than thaty they get to decide whether or not I can pay rent next month or not. It sucks.