Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them

I sent a quick email and my resume to Planned Parenthood. Maybe they need volunteers to help around the office? I'd much rather do that than work at McDonald's or Wal-Mart (or at the McDonald's inside the Wal-Mart), despite the fact that it pays more than $0/hr.

I think maybe I want to get my B.Ed. and teach media studies to dead-eyed high schoolers. They'll hate me because I'll make them read Chomsky but love me because I let them watch The Simpsons in class. A lot. Or better yet, become a guidance counselor and get myself promptly fired for saying things like "The only thing about high school that matters is getting out" and "They're lying to you when they say that marijuana is a highly addictive Gateway Drug".