It makes me feel so fine I can't control my brain.

More of the same on all the job sites... shitty retail/food service/call centre, or other jobs that sound only semi-shitty which require 3 to 5 years experience minimum. Instead of listing them and making snide remarks like I usually do, I'll lay out my job criteria (eg: a job must meet all of the following requirements for me to even waste the printer ink to send them a resume):

1. I need regular, consistent working hours. I need to have the same schedule every week, and the same days off. Otherwise it's fucking impossible to make plans to do stuff on my own time more than a week in advance. I also need to work at the same time every day -- I need a regular routine so I can eat/sleep/go to the gym at the same time every day. The actual days I work or shift times aren't terribly important, provided they are consistent.

2. I will not work for less than $8/hr. Anything less than that is an insult to the last 6 years (and $45,000+) I spent going to college and university. Besides, I couldn't survive on less than $8/hr even if I wanted to.

3. I will not work in a job where I am required to absorb verbal abuse, insults and/or sexual harassment with gentle good humour. This stipulation pretty much rules out the entire service industry.

4. Unless I'm being paid $15+/hr, I will need at least 35 to 40 hours per week. It's only fair.